Voices In My Head

Are you scared?
Will you fall
In the dark
Will you cry
Will you die
Are you dead?
Are you there
In your head?
Is it blank
Is it black
Do you care
If you're there?
Do you want
To rise
To fly
To fall
To the ground
To be buried
Under mounds
Of hope
Crushed
Shattered and tattered
Dreams lie forgotten
Broken
Scattered
Will you lie?
Defy?
Do you dare?
Dare to rise
To rise and shine
To laugh to smile
To feel sublime
To live
Will you give
It your all
Or get stuck
At a point
Fade away
Are you real?
Can you move?
Can you feel?
Free yourself
Break your bonds
Break your chains
Take a chance
Make a change
Move ahead
Get a life
Give your all
Just get up
If you fall
Live for now
Follow the truth
What is true?
I am
Your conscience

Letting Go

Rooafza and coffee and Noddy's hair on my tution bag
A chewed up ball in the corner, along with a tattered rag
The sweet fragrance of lavender talc and green apple candy cable
Ink stains and paper wads and piles of text books on the table
But under the bed a higher pile of Pratchetts and Ashwins and Gaams
Behind closed doors silent hysteria over a certain 'bellish' arm
Dreams of moonlit nights and a 'duty bound' bishounen
The Simoquin Prophesies manga finished at half past ten
Secrets in the dead of night, shared joy, confusion, pain
Poems exchanged in remembrance till we meet again
Promises to stick through thick and thin; through the smooth, and the rough
On the bed a tear stained pillow by virtue of 'Good Enough'
A broken heart, all cried out, a lost and wandering soul
A wound so deep it never will heal, an insatiable black hole
Letting go of the past, of things that have been long gone
Of memories, both sad and sweet, let go now and move on.

Unaccepted

Blinded by light they see not who I am
Its blaze, its dazzle engulfs them all
It shines on them with the force of its lies
But the truth deep inside my darkness resides

I yearn to let the darkness out
Let it seep into the minds of those blind fools
Who believe the concealing, deceiving light
Believing only what they want to believe

I cry, I scream to be understood
To bare myself, my soul, my all
Only to be ignored my the mindless crowd
Not accepted for being what I am

Set in their ways they fear the darkness
Unnerved by its mysterious depths
Frightened, to delve into this enigma
Lest they see the demented truth

Hidden in the darkness seethes my soul
A sadist, hurting others to resolve my own hurt
Unable to break free from this ruthless chain
I lie here, alone, unaccepted.

Remember Me

If the fires of hell knock on your door
And the heartless wind blows evermore
Tremble not, my dear girl
Just close your eyes and remember me

If pangs of sorrow wreck your heart
And threaten to break it into countless shards
Cry not, my dear girl
Just close your eyes and remember me

If despair spreads through your very being
And frustration makes you want to scream
Don’t give up, my dear girl
Just close your eyes and remember me

And when the bright rays of joy
Shall suffuse your every bone
And hope shall descend from the sky
And all your troubles are gone

Remember me then my lovely friend
Remember me throughout your days
Whether you laugh, or cry, or roll your eyes
Remember me always.

Nameless

Amidst the crowd she walks unseen

She is nameless, her identity ignored

Unheard is her heart’s lament

And yet she struggles on

She works throughout the insatiable rain

She toils under the grueling sun

Her back is breaking, but the pain

Is incomparable to that of her broken heart

Alone she proceeds along the unending road

They have left her no place to call home

Her tears drip onto her tattered clothes

For her there is no way but onwards

And yet the dismal night passes

And as the gloom lifts before the dawn

The sun comes up on a cloudless sky

Invoking within her the first ray of hope

She smiles, a new day has begun.

The Misanthrope

Yaaaaaaaaawnnn!!... Alright. Today has been long and tiring. Seven continuous hours of atomic structure, friction forces and Geometric Progressions can be a hell lot more tiring than you can imagine, especially when it's combined with being all soaked from head to toe. I came back home an hour back and turned on my computer to check on our attempt to take over the world. This is what I get, being accused of "cynicism", "sarcasm" and "misanthropy"!!! Well, I don't really mind though... see, I like to believe that I belong to a rare social group of highly self-centered and narcissist people. Alright, not so rare. Although I still know I'm different from most other creatures that calls themselves humans. See? There I go again! Praising myself again. You know, I surprise my own esteemed self all the time by the extent of my esteem.
Well, my first post here. I'm Nimmi. People's views of me are very contradictory. They think I'm a loner, but then they find me sweet and friendly. They say I'm a cynic and then they come running to me for advice when in trouble. They find me annoying but they can't go a minute without my company. They find me the cutest, but they also find me the rudest. So, you can't really blame me for thinking of myself so highly.
As for this girl Jini. We weren't supposed to meet. At least not so soon. This was one of those "tricks" that God loves to play on you when you are as unique as I am. I was happy and frolicking in Muscat (Oman), but my gypsy dad decided that we had to move, move to a place I COMPLETELY didn't want to go. I remember resisting with all my might (even packing up my bags to runaway!!) But as i said,that little dictator you guys call "God" usually has special stuff planned for me. So I came to this complete alien place with as much reluctance as I could muster. We stayed at my dad's best friend's place. He has a daughter. My dad was all up about how I should be nice to her and not act like the complete biotch that I was being back then. I, however, had different plans. I wanted to give this girl the dirtiest treatment she had ever received. Oh! how nostalgic! The spite I had for destiny at that time was venomous!!
So my dad's best friend did everything to make me feel at home. That's when I stumbled upon this girl's bookshelf and I thought, maybe I could get her books if i was nice to her. So plans changed. Temptation took over spite.
I remember the time we first met. I was totally engrossed in one of HER books and by interrupting me at that point you could risk your life. ( You know, with the whole spite and concentration on the book and boredom summed up.) So she comes back from school, butts right in ( oh, alright! It was her room!!) and goes "hey!!" with the FLASHIEST smile I've ever seen. I couldn't really sulk at that big a smile so I smiled back. Then we got talking, and unfortunately, we had similar music tastes, she had books I wanted to read, and she had a big brother (the TOP most thing on my wishlist). So, yeah. We started off really weirdly and ended up somehow, as good friends. No. Great friends. Just when I thought I had had enough of "good friends" another one joined the list. Oh well, at least ONE good thing will come out of it (this blog.)
That's about all for now. Yeah, I know... not much of a post but hey, I'm not the writer here... I just like to jot stuff down. Creativity is not what my writing is appreciated for and I'm good with it.
On that note, I sign off.
All hail misanthropes and otakus!!
The Nimmi

Marching In The Rain

And another one by the one and only - Jini. Nimms, u had better catch up.

“The drum rolls started. We all formed a line, our heart beats increasing. The students gathered there to witness the ceremony started cheering. The moment had finally come! After weeks of waiting, it was finally here – the march to be sworn in! All of us were in perfect attire – hair left open stylishly, skirts 2 inches shorter than the prescribed height, pants worn WAY too low, shirts loosely untucked, girls wearing Kohl, guys wearing streaks…ya ya, I know this was not the ‘perfect’ image we were supposed to be portraying, but god help us, this was OUR moment in the spotlight and NOBODY and NOTHING was gonna steal it from us.

How wrong we were.

The drums stopped suddenly. The cheering died down and was replaced by shrieks instead, as everyone ran for cover. It was raining. Heavily. Again. This was the fourth time this had happened. The ceremony was once again postponed because of the rain.
We stood there, our hair and clothes soaked, the rain drenching not only our bodies but our spirits as well. It always came to this. After weeks of excruciating practice, it was all going to be postponed.

As we stood there dejected, we all of a sudden heard a commotion. Looking up, we saw all the students standing in the balconies, standing there and cheering for us again! The drum rolls started again. Was this for real? We formed our lines once again and proceeded, the raindrops splattering on our cheeks, the cool wind carrying the sounds of the drum. And there, surrounded by rain, amidst all the cheering, we marched! We marched and took our places as the new council of Navrachana!”

This was 2 years ago. I still remember that day, and the year following it when I acted as the General Secretary of my house. That day, I had been given a choice – to become the General Secretary or to be an editor of the school newsletter The Scanner. I chose the former. I have never regretted my decision since. I have many good memories of that year, some bad ones as well admittedly, but all in all, it was a very enriching experience. I learnt a lot being the General Secretary and one of the most important decisions I learnt was to try new things, so as to have new experiences, new memories that I can cherish forever. And that is why this year when the Swearing In Ceremony march will take place, I will be among the people cheering, cheering the new council as the new Chief Editor of the Scanner.